BREAKING NEWS: /duck/ CLOSES ITS DOORS IN 8CHAN SHAKEUP

The foremost neoreactionary community in the imageboard scene, /duck/, has abruptly and suddenly closed as of Wednesday, March 25th. Board founder and Almighty God-Emperor of Neoreaction, Duck Enlightenment is at present refusing to comment on the closure, saying “twitter seems overly sensitive today”. While no official reason is patently obvious, Duck’s current twitter spat with Nick Land suggests to some that Mike Anissimov has finally snapped after months upon months of cuck memes, murdering Duck and hijacking his social media account. This shutting down comes only a day or so following the a major shakeup on the rest of 8chan, with /gamergate/ administrator Blade deciding that the community was shit and handing moderator privileges over to aspiring adult entertainer/amateur rapper/9-11 reseacher Teridax. While TRD experts are saying that the two shitstorms being connected is “really fucking unlikely and anyone who thinks they are is retarded”, it still remains a mysterious coincidence.

Of all the Neoreactionary communities, /duck/ was certainly one of a kind. The foremost battleground in the vast internet slapfight between Neoreactionaries and MyPostingCareer, /duck/ was home to a number of memorable debates on topics such as “Is Nick Land on meth”, “Why does Bryce write like a fag”, “Who the fuck is Kantbot”, “MENCIUS MOLDBUG IS A FUCKING KIKE” and other intellectual exchanges. It was said that the average /duck/ poster was an enlightened, sophisticated individual who kept both his body and mind in apex condition. Reports from Phalanx bathhouses also suggested that /duck/ users generally had an above-averaged sized penis. Regardless, the final few days of /duck/ were notoriously troubled: nearly every thread on the board was devoted to discussing either the madness and stupidity of individuals like Genophila, or the practice of cuckoldry. Indeed, one former user noted that “the once overflowing well of original content has gone dryer than a vagina in the presence of Aurini.” A replacement to /duck/ by the name of /neoreaction/ has already been established by Kantbot, but time will tell if it will be suitable.

Further updates on the story will come whenever they develop and TRD staff stops being lazy and does actual fucking journalism for once.

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “BREAKING NEWS: /duck/ CLOSES ITS DOORS IN 8CHAN SHAKEUP

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s