DAILY KOS WRITER GETS SOMETHING RIGHT ENTIRELY BY ACCIDENT, IS STILL RETARDED

It’s hard to find a larger source of insufferable shitlib retardation than DailyKos. This blogging platform, arguably the ur-tumblr, hosts such wonderful blogs like “The Halfrican Fortress of Negritude” which sounds like a thread title on MPC. It also hosts Shawn King, the second public transracial activist known to western civilization, and Margaret Pless, internet tough girl who desperately wishes hotwheels would recognize her as his greatest enemy. So in conclusion, you could arguably oven every single person who uses the site and the world would be a much better place.

But recently, an interesting pattern has occurred. For whatever reasons, leftists are picking up on what’s going on with Trump much, MUCH better than “conservatives”. Perhaps they think that suddenly their years of paranoid fever dreams are finally coming true and Americans are starting to realize that the giant spiked horse dildo being rammed up their butt is not exactly in their best interest.  One can assume that while they get what Trump is doing and what he’s pushing, they expect a Trump presidency to end with San Francisco’s Castro District being firebombed and a brigade of angry redheads storming Manhattan screaming “DIE FAGGOTS DIE”. (Ed.- I will be perfectly happy to lead this brigade if Chuck C. Johnson pussies out.) To them, Trumpenkreig is not just an edgy joke, but the frightening possibility that when Trump is sworn in, it will be on a copy of Mein Kampf by newly-appointed Supreme Court Chief Justice David Duke, with an inaugural address that ends with weev returning to our country with an army of killbots that will use 23 And Me data to wipe out the Jews once and for all.

And that brings us to one DailyKos post by the prestigious writer known as “Mr. Anon”. One can only assume by his username that this is a brave man who wears his guy fawkes mask to really take the fight to the oppressive oligarchy, and restore the power to the people! Clearly he’s not anon because of people discovering that he’s actually a well-off SWPL and not worth listening to, but out of the need to protect himself from evil corporate assassins! But regardless, Mr Anon gives us this little blog piece: “Donald Trump and Neoreaction: Why what he represents must be buried permanently.” To his credit, Mr. Anon recognizes that neoreaction is one word, which right off the bat makes him smarter than PZ Meyers. He also doesn’t mince words and makes it clear that Trump must not just be stopped, but measures must be taken to prevent another Trump. He’s dropped all pretense and has gone into “SHUT IT DOWN” mode.

The article begins by stating that Trump’s candidacy “is ultimately destructive for the American body politic and the political spectrum” and how he represents “an ideology that should be considered the antithesis to modern progressive ideas.” First off, if that idea doesn’t get you rock hard, you’re probably reading the wrong blog. You would probably have a better time of things over at NRO, maybe see if Kevin D. Williamson will invite you to one of his standard fuckparties.

The article goes on to insinuate that Trump is a not a “”nationalist economic populist” as some would call him, but in fact a bonafide neoreactionary. Of course, this is where the more informed NRx types can apply some heavy skepticisim to the writer’s claims. The idea that Donald Trump of all people sat down and read Unqualified Reservations (beyond the Formalist Manifesto) and decided that he’d still run for president is laughable. I could see him maybe reading the first few paragraphs of the Gentle Introduction before getting bored. How Dawkins got Pwned wouldn’t even stand a chance. Trump is a high-energy guy, and let’s face it- outside of perhaps Duck The Almighty, neoreaction is a fairly low-energy, cerebral movement.

Of course, Mr. Anon contradicts himself by saying that no, Trump isn’t actually a real neoreactionary. He then proceeds to contradict his contradiction (Ed.- Is this the fabled LAWGIC TRAP I keep hearing about?) by stating that Trump clearly is a neoreactionary because other neoreactionaries like him. His evidence for this lies in the fact that Trump has been endorsed by an “‘intellectual leader’ in the neoreactionary movement. Supposedly that “intellectual leader” is none other than one Michael Anissimov. Perhaps Mr. Anon is out of the loop, but it’s inexcusable to believe that Anissimov is the intellectual leader of anything other than the metaphysics of hardcore bareback mexican tranny-dom fisting. Perhaps sounding like a valley girl who inhaled one whole tank of helium through the mouth and another in the ass might pass as intellectual among the left, but we on the right have stricter standards- for us you need to either sound like a habitual chainsmoker or a muppet.

Likewise, Mr. Anon commits one of the most grave sins: He assumes PUA/Redpill philosophy is a part of NRx. It’s not clear how one can assume sexual hedonism would fly in a movement built on historic social mores, but liberals seem to love to associate the two anyway. It’s a commonly accepted fact that entry into NRx requires eventually abandoning the debauched and degenerate pursuit of normie 3DPD and taking the more passive option of finding a pure 2D waifu. Waifuism is among the pillars of revolting against the modern world, and indeed riding the catgirl is just as important as riding the tiger.

Mr. Anon concludes his article with the most laughable portion, telling the left to double-down on Obama-ism in order to defeat Trump: “If Trump says something that sounds cool on healthcare, we must make sure our candidates respond by pushing to improve and expand the ACA.” This is the progressive strategy in 2016: militantly defending the status quo.

And in that sense, neoreaction is winning. Suddenly, the overton window has shifted, as the left is now the one standing atop history yelling “PLEASE DON’T THROW ME OUT OF A HELICOPTER”. They’ve gone from pushing the dildo farther up our butts to instead desperately trying to keep it from being pulled out. Trump’s immigration policy is literally reactionary- rather than stop progress, it seeks to actively undo it. True, Trump may be a bit liberal and progressive on other ends, but it is impossible for NRx to deny that even the dumbest of proles is flocking to an elite, upper-class strongman who can un-fuck America. Trump has proven that putting the church of Dildolech on full blast is now a profitable, successful strategy for campaigning.

Will Trump help usher in the Silicon Reich and help the editor’s dream of shoving (((Barbara Spectre))) into an oven come true? Only time will tell. Will Mr. Anon’s posts still be faggy regardless of insight? Most certainly.

HE’S STILL FUCKING GOING AT IT- DAY THREE OF THE ANISSIMOV MELTDOWN

UPDATE: IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE WHOLE DEAL FOR YOURSELF, MPC USER “PROFESSIONAL BOOB WASHER” HAS COMPILED IT HERE.

In what drama experts are calling “totally unprecedented” Mike Anissimov’s impotent ragestorm has entered it’s third day of incessant internet insanity. Having thorougly made an ass out of himself going after SOBL1, Anissimov has since turned his sights to new targets. The first target is Julie Borowski, a Polish-American girl who makes political youtube videos. Mike, in a fit of hysteria, considered her to be his pure white waifu. He proceeded to spam her twitter with marraige proposals, dating requests, death threats to her current boyfriend, and a desire to cuddle up and play Sonic 3 with her.

There are a number of things that can be deduced from this. First off, Borowski is an active libertarian. So we can clearly guess that Anissimov isn’t quite the traditionalist that he says he is. Second, and more importantly, Mike explicitly said Sonic 3. In the day and age of emulation or eBay, there really is no reason to be playing Sonic 3 when the superior Sonic 3 and Knuckles is easily available. So we now know for a fact that since Mike thinks Sonic 3 is better than S3&K, he does not actually have autism. Thus, if Mike doesn’t have autism, we must instead conclude that instead he’s just a fucking idiot.

Mike’s rage didn’t stop there, however. Noted twitter thirst-trap “Tipsycaek” reached out to Mike, offering to stroke his golden locks of hair. Anissimov, however, rejected her, and later dismissed her as a common whore. TRD officials researched this Tipsycaek character and were disappointed to discover that she does not in fact possess a penis. However, this revelation combined with her whiteness (natural blond hair and blue eyes!) very much shows that she’s not Mike’s kind of girl. Until Bad Dragon makes strap-on products, we can most likely confirm that there will not be any chemistry between the two.

Of course, Tipsycaek’s friend, twitter user and noted AC repairman/quality NRx poster “KawaiiKraken” happened to comment that Mike looks like the bassist for a 90’s alt-rock band. Clearly, this was an insult of the highest degree- Mike obviously fashions himself as a lead singer, or at least a guitarist. (Editor’s note- if evidence can be found of Anissimov being in a band, I’m sure Chuck C. Johnson will pay for a demo or mixtape or whatever.) Incensed beyond relief, Mikey went on the warpath, making several graphic threats to murder KawaiiKraken for the crime of insulting his honor. The sheer nonsensical verbosity of the threats informs us that Mike has most likely never been in a fight in his entire life, much less one where he had to kill a man.

As Mike’s rage burned bright, our Holy Duck Overlord stepped in, pointing out that Mike was acting like an absolute lunatic and took some potshots at his shattered sanity. Mike’s response was to claim that he was the leader of NRx and could easily drive Duck off of twitter. At this point it would be pertient to remind everyone that Duck is the spiritual leader of Neoreaction, with Nick B. Steves as our current regent. Anissimov has been formally decried and excommunicated from Neoreaction for being a huge cunt that nobody likes. TRD experts are not sure what he’s smoking to think that he somehow has the power to end someone’s twitter career. TRD experts are also quite interested in how many mexican dicks he had to suck to get so many doses.

Of course, as all of this drama went on, it wasn’t long before the Grand High Dragon Wizard of Drama, Andrew “weev” Aurenheimer. Never one to pass on someone whose power level wasn’t at least 1488, weev took to storify (a remarkably pozzed medium, all things considered) to slap Anissimov across the face with his big white hyperborean cock in a display of masculine superiority that Justine Tunney and most of /aristoi/ will undoubtedly be furiously masturbating to later tonight. To rub salt in the wound, weev proceeded to post Mike’s address and phone number on the MPC shoutbox and 8chan’s /cow/. Using seven proxies, TRD researchers had found that this information had also spread to /baphomet/. While this may lead people to believe that Anissimov would be swatted, his current twitter posts leave plenty of reason to call the police. Using Anissimov’s dox, a crack team of google users quickly discovered a photograph of his humble abode. The house would be described by real estate experts as a “fucking dump”.

When asked via ask.fm about the doxing, former Neoreactionary and noted weaboo AntiDem questioned weev’s right-wing credentials. TRD staff has hired a crack team of #GamerGate private eyes who have confirmed that yes, Anissimov and AntiDem are good friends IRL. Also of note is twitter user “TheBechtloff” reaching out to Anissimov and encouraging him to apologize. Anissimov’s response amounted to dismissal. Bechtloff is an associate of Davis Aurini and a writer for “Reaxxion”, a #GamerGate cash-in site run by notorious pseudo-reactionary Roosh Vashamalayanstein. TRD’s mental health experts have determined that Mike rejecting Bechtloff’s helping hand is a sign that he still possesses SOME mental faculties, such as self-respect. Roosh himself has also commented on the meltdown, but reporters are still scouring the globe looking for anyone of note who gives a fuck what Roosh thinks.

Anissimov has yet to be directly reached for comment, due to blocking TRD officials on twitter, and Pleasureman failing to properly take them out of chaperone mode on MPC before Anissimov could leave the shoutbox. His last known comment there consisted of him saying he’d be going to get a shower, not responding to allegations that it was of the golden variety.

SELF-DESTRUCTION OF MIKE ANISSIMOV CONTINUES

As we all know, Mike Anissimov’s crippling addiction to mexican ladyboy hookers has lead to him having to officially pull the plug on MoreRight. However, when twitter user “SOBL1” made the fairly innocent suggestion that Mike gets a real fucking job, little Mikey decided enough was enough. Tapping into his central-California shitlib roots, Anissimov threw one of the most hilarious temper tantrums in recent memory. It almost feels insulting to the dindus of Baltimore to call it a chimpout, so the experts of MyPostingCareer are calling it a “limpout”, which is certainly suitable given the limp-wrist rage of Anissimov.

Anissimov’s first method of self-defense is to act like SOBL went over the line by insinuating Anissimov is gay. Because you know, that’s not a shitlib style of arguing at all or anything. Realizing that he’s arguing like a woman, Anissimov immediately tries to save face and prove his manhood by resorting to the “personal attack me one more time I fucking own a gun” argument. This falls flat because in his threat, Mikey admits that he doesn’t even have a gun in the fucking threat, saying instead that he’ll get a gun. Here is a number of reasons why Mike is obviously bluffing:

  1. Getting a gun would require leaving the house and going somewhere other than the dildo store or bathhouse.
  2. Getting a gun would also require money that you didn’t already spend on dragon dildos, ladyboy hookers and HIV medication.
  3. Getting a gun requires that you don’t live in fucking San Francisco, there probably aren’t even any down low black dudes you could suck off behind a 7-11 or Denny’s to get a cheap glock or hi-point.
  4. Firing a gun requires actual wrist strength that I highly doubt a San Francisco native possesses.

Rather than realize that he looks like a massive fucking idiot, Anissimov presses the attack, saying he’ll hunt down SOBL1. Mike then proceeds to talk out of his ass, with the most insane internet tough-guy posturing I’ve seen in months. In hopes that Mike will just shut up before he gives himself a heart attack, SOBL1 gave an apology which amounted to “I’m sorry you’re a faggot.” In a demonstration of what’s always on his mind, Mike proceeded to refer to this as “blowing him off.” His impotent limp-wristed tantrum continued until he realized that SOBL1 was ignoring him.

In hopes that he might see reason, the High Chieftain of Orcbrand tried to get Mike to calm his tits. Anissimov’s response was pure ego-posturing, and a series of rambles about “MUH BOOK”. He seems to be operating under the millenial delusion that producing ideological tracts is somehow equivalent to getting a fucking job. He caps off his rant by saying that SOBL1 will never be an “intellectual great”. I thought most intellectual greats didn’t spend hours pissing and moaning over someone calling them a faggot on twitter, but maybe Anissimov is a subscriber to the PZ Meyers school of thought? I’m pretty sure most intellectual greats don’t threaten to shoot a man over an internet argument, though.

Other gems in his meltdown include his insistence that it’s his lack of anonymity that makes him such a popular target, rather than his unwarranted self-importance. He also refers to “white-collar faggots casually talking shit” without the slightest bit of irony. You’d think someone as narcissistic as he is would own at lease one mirror.

SOBL1 generally declined to comment beyond saying that the whole situation was pretty laughable. He then went on to troll Cathy Reisenwitz because he just doesn’t give a fuck. And in the end, that’s what makes him the real hero in all of this.