As we all know, Mike Anissimov’s crippling addiction to mexican ladyboy hookers has lead to him having to officially pull the plug on MoreRight. However, when twitter user “SOBL1” made the fairly innocent suggestion that Mike gets a real fucking job, little Mikey decided enough was enough. Tapping into his central-California shitlib roots, Anissimov threw one of the most hilarious temper tantrums in recent memory. It almost feels insulting to the dindus of Baltimore to call it a chimpout, so the experts of MyPostingCareer are calling it a “limpout”, which is certainly suitable given the limp-wrist rage of Anissimov.
Anissimov’s first method of self-defense is to act like SOBL went over the line by insinuating Anissimov is gay. Because you know, that’s not a shitlib style of arguing at all or anything. Realizing that he’s arguing like a woman, Anissimov immediately tries to save face and prove his manhood by resorting to the “personal attack me one more time I fucking own a gun” argument. This falls flat because in his threat, Mikey admits that he doesn’t even have a gun in the fucking threat, saying instead that he’ll get a gun. Here is a number of reasons why Mike is obviously bluffing:
- Getting a gun would require leaving the house and going somewhere other than the dildo store or bathhouse.
- Getting a gun would also require money that you didn’t already spend on dragon dildos, ladyboy hookers and HIV medication.
- Getting a gun requires that you don’t live in fucking San Francisco, there probably aren’t even any down low black dudes you could suck off behind a 7-11 or Denny’s to get a cheap glock or hi-point.
- Firing a gun requires actual wrist strength that I highly doubt a San Francisco native possesses.
Rather than realize that he looks like a massive fucking idiot, Anissimov presses the attack, saying he’ll hunt down SOBL1. Mike then proceeds to talk out of his ass, with the most insane internet tough-guy posturing I’ve seen in months. In hopes that Mike will just shut up before he gives himself a heart attack, SOBL1 gave an apology which amounted to “I’m sorry you’re a faggot.” In a demonstration of what’s always on his mind, Mike proceeded to refer to this as “blowing him off.” His impotent limp-wristed tantrum continued until he realized that SOBL1 was ignoring him.
In hopes that he might see reason, the High Chieftain of Orcbrand tried to get Mike to calm his tits. Anissimov’s response was pure ego-posturing, and a series of rambles about “MUH BOOK”. He seems to be operating under the millenial delusion that producing ideological tracts is somehow equivalent to getting a fucking job. He caps off his rant by saying that SOBL1 will never be an “intellectual great”. I thought most intellectual greats didn’t spend hours pissing and moaning over someone calling them a faggot on twitter, but maybe Anissimov is a subscriber to the PZ Meyers school of thought? I’m pretty sure most intellectual greats don’t threaten to shoot a man over an internet argument, though.
Other gems in his meltdown include his insistence that it’s his lack of anonymity that makes him such a popular target, rather than his unwarranted self-importance. He also refers to “white-collar faggots casually talking shit” without the slightest bit of irony. You’d think someone as narcissistic as he is would own at lease one mirror.
SOBL1 generally declined to comment beyond saying that the whole situation was pretty laughable. He then went on to troll Cathy Reisenwitz because he just doesn’t give a fuck. And in the end, that’s what makes him the real hero in all of this.